Posted on September 22, 2012
I don’t like heat or a lot of sweating. I realize they have a strong link to running, but to the extent I can limit or avoid them, I do. Heat slows my pace, and if high humidity is involved, it’s curtains for me. I like crisp, fall mornings (happy 1st day of fall, by the way!) and running in the snow. In the summer, I run at the crack of the crack to keep it bearable. I try to control how the weather affects my races by scheduling them in late fall or early spring. Unfortunately, some unseasonably hot race days I’ve been dealt have rocked my plans. I’m awful at accepting lack of control. However, it’s also becoming clear there is little peace in excessive planning. Despite that “clarity”, my grip on the steering wheel of my life is so tight, my knuckles are white, and I’m resistant to let go.
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30
I learned this past week that control, woven tightly with pride, is an idol for me and that I don’t fully trust God as I thought I did. A curve ball was thrown into my plans – it was a perfect opportunity to model trust in God and live out my profession that He works all things for good. Instead, I had a big freak-out session in my head and heart … and in the ears of a few poor souls who love me enough to listen. Now that I’m on the other side of the momentary crisis – which turned out for good, of course – I’m praising God for the opportunity to clean up my mind and spirit. I needed an alert that my trust in Him needs major fortification. I know His will is the right plan for me and He will meet my needs to persevere, but do I believe it? My recent actions don’t show that I do. I cared more about myself than God’s plan for me. My worry and preoccupation with how things might unfold wasted a lot of time. When His plan veers outside the path I’m paving, it will be a struggle to accept it with joy, but I believe there is peace and freedom in letting go. Think of the extra time I’ll have for more joyous thoughts! Who doesn’t want a little extra time? I’ll continue to strategically schedule races to avoid the heat, but I hope to head to the starting line open to whatever weather God wants me to tackle that day, knowing He’ll carry me through.
Dear God, please help me let go of my desire to control the path of my life and give me strength to fully trust in You and Your plan.